Things aikidoka say to each other and what they really mean...

“Maybe when you have more years under your belt you will understand. “ =  (“Since your opinion is so idiotic right now, maybe later you will have another chance to formulate a point of view more akin to my own.”)

“I mean you no disrespect, but…” = (“Having said, ‘I mean you no disrespect,’ I can now go on to insult you fully without being labeled ‘rude’ under the ethical ideals of Aikido.”)

“I can find nothing decent to say in reply to what you have written. “ =  (“I am tired of your position forcing me to re-evaluate myself.  Shut up so I can go on with my own emotional and intellectual status quo.”)

“The difficulties of Budo are subtle and intricate, complicated, and therefore I think you may have misunderstood some things.”  = (“What you are saying is so different from what I have already swallowed hook-line-and-sinker; I am surprised you have an opposable thumb.”) 

“My Shihan said, ‘… ‘” = (“My shihan is God.  Your shihan is not my shihan.  What is not my God is my devil.  Your shihan is the Devil.  You and your view are evil.  Since you and your view are evil, I can denounce you the rights of human decency.”)

“You have not trained as long as I have.  = (“You should forfeit your mind, and your voice, and defer to my own concerning all topics I wish to ‘discuss’ with you.”)

"Who is your teacher?"  = (“I know I do not want to have to think about what you are saying, but I am wondering if you are someone I am supposed to forfeit my own mind and voice to.”)

“You just do not know what you are talking about.” =  (“You are crap.  I am great.  Rather than working to formulate a view different from my own, you should put greater effort into seeing how great I am.”)

“If you truly knew what you were saying, you would…” =  (“You are supposed to say the same thing I am saying.”)

“I just want to say this last thing and then I will not say anything else.” =  (“I’m so afraid that you have gotten the better of me, or that others will think so, that I was pressured all day by my ego to gain the last word – being unable to simply walk away – in the hopes that you will come to feel like I do now; insecure.”)

“Aikido is about training, about mat time, not about talking.” = (“I believe if I repeat something that everyone else is repeating I can cash in on some cultural capital, and thereby not have to actually address you as a human being by thinking about what you are saying.”)

“Aikido is more than self-defense.” = (“I believe if I repeat something that everyone else is repeating I can cash in on some cultural capital, and thereby not have to actually address you as a human being by thinking about what you are saying.”)

“Aikido is a spiritual endeavor.” =  (“I believe if I repeat something that everyone else is repeating I can cash in on some cultural capital, and thereby not have to actually address you as a human being by thinking about what you are saying.”)

"Aikido is non-violent."  = (“I believe if I repeat something that everyone else is repeating I can cash in on some cultural capital, and thereby not have to actually address you as a human being by thinking about what you are saying.”)

“The ‘street’ is not like the dojo. = (“I believe if I repeat something that everyone else is repeating I can cash in on some cultural capital, and thereby not have to actually address you as a human being by thinking about what you are saying.”)

“Training is a process, not a destination.” =  (“I believe if I repeat something that everyone else is repeating I can cash in on some cultural capital, and thereby not have to actually address you as a human being by thinking about what you are saying.)